Primer

Post vacation, I have been diagnosed with Acute Sinusitis and Acute Pharyngitis. I am on a 7 day course of Augmentin, Olfen, Otrivin and occasionally Panadol whenever I get fever. I am also on a 2 day sick leave , which has cost me an additional 900 rupees (Just to prove that I am sick, the doctor writes a certificate and the ministry of health stamps it, and charges me - fantastic! its a crime to be sick - even if you are only sick for 2 days in 3 years?)

So, I decided to watch "Primer" - IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0390384/

I couldn't make heads or tails out of it. I am completely lost ... what does it mean?. If anyone has found any meaning to all of it, do let me know.
Meanwhile, I have decided not to give up and watch the next one "Pi".

TED | My new found escape

For a long time, the only sites I used to visit were lifehacker.com, zenhabits.net, gulfnews.com ...


Not anymore, I have found a brilliant collection of talks by the most fascinating minds of our times --- www.ted.com. I spend an hour or two ,every Friday, listening to the talks. They are short (not more than 20 minutes), minimalistic, and truly matching the categorization the site has given - jaw-dropping, courageous , inspiring, informative.......

Here are some

Jaw-dropping:
A Robot bird that flies
The thrilling potential of Sixth Sense - by Pranav Mistry
Underwater Astonishments



Ingenious:
A rosetta stone for the Indus Script

Courageous & Disturbing at the same time
Sex Slavery & Trafficking in India


Funny:
Close up card magic tricks


Or , if you prefer the youtube way, search for "TED" on youtube. I am not sure, if all the talks are posted there.

Father

For the longest of times, I was my momma's boy (in every sense, you damned cynics!) and pops always found the easiest way to get to my nerves.
The man was impeccable.
Everything I was not.
Restrained, patient, intelligent and compassionate.

I spent the last ~30 years trying not to be like him and I find myself copying his mannerisms and catchphrases to the point where I cannot recognize myself anymore. Maybe he is not such a bad guy, after all...

Organisized

One of these days I have to do that myself just so that I can post here with any form of regularity. I have lost the inspiration to create any kind of contrived lyrical structures, that I call poems (Its mine and I have rights to name it what I want).

But half way through most drafts, I do hit delete and go back to sleep. I wish there was some way where I could train myself to sleepblog.

It might be way more interesting, unrestrained and actually readable.

30 c & b Life

After almost 10 years, I watched a cricket match from start to end, and I must say it was worth it. India won the world cup! I was literally jumping around in my room , and could hear "Jai Ho!" and the sorts from every window around. This means, I could tell my daughter when she grows up - "We won the world cup!". I used to feel envious of the generation before me, who used to boast about the good olden days of Kapil Dev, when India won the world cup. Not anymore.
I don't know why I got so carried away, but it was truly an emotional moment. This also set me thinking in a freakonomics way -- Will this explode the market for cricket consumables and "Dhoni" wannabes ? or has it already? It is said that the cosmetics industry boomed in India after Aiswarya became the miss of the world and Susmita became the miss of the universe. :-) This also means that kids now get to say something like "I want to be a cricketer". Ouch!


---- This post has remained in the Draft Mode for quite some time and must be published!

Although I intended to add "Turning 30" to this post, I forgot what I wanted to blog about. So, I publish the draft as-is :)

My music. My curse.

Is it that I really like music or just that I am much more afraid of silence?
Do I really want to stay immersed in this unfulfilled threat of violence?
Every song I know has something that irks me in at least one minor way.
Maybe its my pursuit to find the perfect song that has kept my real world at bay.
Each time I come across something fresh and something new,
I abuse it relentlessly until I hate it too.
Looping tracks over time, I keep my earphones plugged in right.
Songs during daytime to drown my co-workers and songs to drown my thoughts at night.
Here take this phrase and twist it into rhyme.
Fit it to this situation as you do time.
Lamest bands with the most clichéd of lines.
I contort my brain for some connected vibes.

Still I post lyrics, videos and critiques
On social networks, quite anti-socially.
Hoping someone, sometime, shares mutual experiences
The only manner with which to bridge these distances.

Kryptonite for every superman

Wakes up at 6:30 and hops on to the treadmill.
The figurative kind. Imagine it, if you will.
Sleepwalking through the ablutions, until
Scalding jets from a shower head shrill.

Wakes you up for good. At least for now.
You pour a bowl of cereal, with milk in tow.
Distracted, unable to straighten your brow.
Time to commute and make it somehow.

Some days there's conversation on the way,
on others, just silence and mutual dismay.
On the automaton lives we live in this day.
Herded through paths without a say.

Yet in horizon, shining bright.
Like the only moon on a cloudy night.
You rise towards its dizzying height.
You embrace it even if its your kryptonite.


- Was sitting idle on my draft section for a long time. Finishing it felt necessary, though not satisfactory. Parts of it are fabrications. Most of it is untrue. But then you always knew that, didn't you.

Another day in the rest of my life

One of the most boring cliches used is "Today is the first day of the rest of your life" - Isn't that true for every day?

And what does whatever done on day 1 have to do with how the rest of the days turn out to be? Too long I have waited for a defining moment where the slate would be wiped clean, I would break out of my shell and become the true man leading the life I so want to.

I think me constantly struggling inside my shell is my definition. If I ever got out, I probably wouldn't know what to do with myself. I am defined by the act of escaping. But that implies that I absolutely need this prison to continually plot my escape.

Sometimes I pause to think of how my life should play out. It is nothing like what is going on right now. I also think if there are others like me. Others who are bothered by the disconnect between what is happening and what could be/should be/would be happening instead. And the funny part is when I really think about it hard, I cannot visualize the exact life I might be living, all I can sense is a strong sense of rejection of this life that I am currently living in. It's like a body rejecting a donor organ even if that organ is necessary for survival. It's like the body's statement that it will be defined by the struggle rather than the survival.

I think it is my role to struggle and always feel like an outsider. It tires out the brain rather easily and makes it restless. The best part of my day is when I am driving back home around 10:30 at night. I plug in my headphones under my helmet and play my music as loud as I dare to while driving through Chennai traffic. Its probably the best 20 minutes of the day when there is nothing between the ears but blessed music.

This is as confusing a blog I have posted in a long time. But just as real as well.

Observations of an Unknown Indian

It has been 3 weeks and 3 days since said unknown Indian has returned after nearly 5 years. The more the things change, the more they remain the same.

1. Bachelors in the IT industry are the lowest on the totem pole of rentable individuals. If you know what happens at the bottom of totem poles or any similar pole in India, you know that it is an unenviable location.
2. In 5 years my salary has more than doubled. Expenses are, however, projected to more than triple.
3. 'But you work in IT' is an acceptable reason to be overcharged, shortchanged and out-negotiated in any transaction.
4. Auto drivers seem surprisingly reasonable these days. Maybe the negativity over compensated on this one.
5. Commutes are unreasonable, fraught with danger and can suck the life out of the most chipper of us.
6. Maybe it's December, but the weather is glorious with barely any crippling rains or sapping heat.
7. Air conditioners are operated at a very high premium. Hotels don't run it. IT companies turn it off at night.
8. People have ready inputs on why you might have made a poor deal. Not one has offered a better deal, however.
9. Go with the flow but realize and recognize there ate some things that you must stand up for or against.
10. Despite all the obvious problems, the proximity to friends and family eliminates the captivity of negativity.

Good to be home.

White Trash

If there was a color to Trash, it would be white, it would be white...

I believe in Djinns and Demons, and that ...
Horlicks is not the secret of energy, Hunger is ...

3 dots .... Create, Preserve and Destroy...
Remember, Repeat and Rinse! Nihuism is back!

Where is the time for elegance or an Aha! or a wow?
when the front line is money, and the bottom line is it too....

Zeitgeist Addendum was a real awakening, so was Inception,
and so is Food, and many other documentaries...

However, like coconut that is a must between steam cakes,
don't humans need be reminded ? oft and oft, till its a boring routine?

To see a world in a grain of sand
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour.
- William Blake, Auguries of Innocence