Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Resolutions. Dissolutions. New Solutions?

I consciously made no resolutions for the new year. But a lot has happened or threatened to happen, which makes it necessary to chart out some sort of mission statement to live the rest of the year, and possibly the rest of my days.

For a while now, I have struggled with my work and the urge to quit it all. Always the voices of reason have stayed this execution with typical words of wisdom. "What is your Plan B?", "Don't do things you will regret later.", "But that is escapism!"

I appreciate all the constructive criticisms and pithy witticisms. But it is my life dammit and it is better lived on my own terms. To this end, I feel it is important to make this easy on people who actually do have a vested interest in me. But I digress... We shall deal with consequences when we get there. It is a sequence after all, so we do have somethings that we need to get out of the way.

So I have now figured out what I don't want to do. I don't want to work at my company or with my client or in my current shift, which I have been doing for the better part of the last 8 years. Geographies and timezones did change a bit, but not much else from the perspective of the day-to-day, professionally. So no more working stiff at an IT services company for me. It is the life of a very respectable whore. But it is that and nothing more.

So now that a certain way of life has been rejected, we need to find a replacement. 'Confounded' doesn't even begin to explain how I feel going about answering that question. So I am going to be a student. I have identified a few subjects that have some interest in me at this time. I am going to go after them in a trial & error basis. Nights shall be spent learning to code Python, learning to write, learning to read & write my mother tongue, watching documentaries and posting music on my FaceBook (even if it doesn't interest anybody). Days will be spent sleeping or catching up on it if required. Evenings are when we shall make the donuts at the brain farm. I plan on slacking off as much as possible at work. I will go to work only to ensure that they don't stop paying me or start firing me. At some point it is likely that I find something that shall interest me. I sincerely hope that is the case. 

The next order of business would be to change the social scene. The more that I think about it, there more Bangalore makes sense. It is the last of the places where I still have a few friends who are not either a) getting married or b) making several babies. It would help if my current employer actually painlessly (relatively speaking, of course) allows me to transfer out to Bangalore. The job search to change addresses is going pretty badly. Apparently once you have been doing IT for too long, you are not as attractive a proposition to new employers any more. If that doesn't make you sick to be working in this industry, then I am not sure what you have for a stomach (PVC pipes?).

Finally, the long drawn out wait for the Thunderbird *might* be coming to an end. All things swinging my way, I expect to have my ride by the end of Feb. Which brings me to the final agenda item for 2012. I want to ride to Ladakh. There is a friend who has promised to hop along for the ride. I intend to keep my word.

Thus ends this statement of purposelessness.