Sunday, August 28, 2005

Darkness in Dubai

Nair and his gang of 40 plus are discussing religion and boozing, whilst i am typing my first blog after 2 months. A lot of things have changed. Phase 3 of life has already begun. Under the watchful eyes of my relatives, i am beginning to relive life, as i used to .. 10 years back, in the bliss of ignorance. Nair is a very interesting nasty character. He is a manager in the sea foods division of some company called Akira. He has his family in Mumbai. A true vagabond, he visits all night clubs and says "they forced me !!". No matter how much he boozes, he makes it a point to wake up at 5.30 and play "kausalya supraba...." he then dozes off and wont let me reduce the volume.

After 4 rounds, they have now started eating . Nair and his friends are very particular about food. "We should never have food from hotels! god knows how old the oil is!!". Nair smokes a pack of cigarrete between 6.45 am and 7.45 am. I am not sure, how many he smokes during the day. All the CD's he own are devotional ones. His wake up drink is one glass of tea and one glass of liquor.
Thanks to Strings and their songs, ... I can drown myself in the magical world of music.

The boat driver is sweating like hell. The everyday boat-ride back home is a soothing one. People dont talk that much on the boat. Everyone seems to be enjoying the waves, or rather trying to forget everything for 15 minutes , before they get into the thick of the things, be it be the room with 14 people, or the office where you are looked down upon. If someone bathes 5 times a day, he should be really clean.

Work is exciting. One fine morning after my first production patch went live, i was summoned to the main branch. Customer A wants to open a current account, the branch user, an arab lady clicks on the first few screens and `DiSHum!` HTTP 500 Error. The system analyst watched the scene with horror, the customer blinked, and the branch user screams .. 'wallahi @#% 4$@ $#!'. I went near him and whispered "Bring down the system immediately, downtime 30 minutes'. He repeated it and soon, 23 branches were down for 30 minutes.

The water in the tub was really warm. I lay there for about an hour. felt really good. The sweltering heat of 50 degree celsius had knocked me out. Residence Deira, by Le Meridien. My home for 20 nights. Renjith and Prabhu (at the reception) were my only friends during the time. 63000 rupees... bloody hell! The bank has a policy of showing off... to let the world know where a new employee gets to stay, though temporarily.

'Finding Neverland' was the last movie I saw, about a month back. Abode : Qatar Airways. Kate looked beautiful. Johny Depp was amazing.
The drunkards (3 nos) are still discussing some crap "Money will come and go, relationships are important".

Dubai : the land of extremes. It has changes so much. On one side, i can find people who are better than angels, and on the other, there are russian whores knocking on your doors at just 6.30 pm!

Optra is doing a smooth 120 km/hr.. and i feel it like the 40 km/hr back in india. The tea cup doesnot shake. My uncle is finding it hard to keep it under 130.. the max speed limit on the Dubai-Abudhabi highway. Maybe because the road is too wide .. I cant sense the speed. Pull down the window... and the desert wind gushes . .yup.. really we are not static! Cost of petrol : 8 rupees per litre.

14 people in a room! double decker beds. A small paper sticked on the kitchen door "donot enter.. between 10 pm and 6 am. we are sleeping here, and are tired from work". Room rents increase by 100% or more every year!

Uppma... aah! the good old breakfast from hostel, chennai , bangalore and now in dubai. Lunch : Chicken sandwich + flavoured milk. Evening : snacks. Dinner : kerala poratta (not paratha or parantha) and veg curry.

Zeus, You might find some lousy spelling mistakes, which might irritate you. Sorry man, I cant spell ...

Friday, August 26, 2005

From the past by bala - 1


when i have fears that i cease to be..
i look for help,i look to the sky and sea.
cornerstones questioned and icons destroyed
i stand numb with fear unalloyed.
i don't fear death, sickness or physical pain
nor thunderclaps puntuating the driving rain
no fear in my heart for bird or beast,
which may strike, but with reason at least.
neither do i fear the single man,
who fights & throws at me all he can.
i am not afraid of mistakes, for from them i learn.
nor fazed am i by just punishments, i earn.

but when groups of narrow men come my way,
preach brotherhood and make me pay
for the fact that i don't conform.
to their mediocrity and their norm.
when i am asked to sacrifice my all
for the common good, to be another brick in the wall.
a wall to stall the tides of genius.
a wall to defend the will of ignoramus.
this is done with refreshing ease.
as the drugged masses hold their peace.
all men are equal, they proclaim,
but talents differ, and we are not the same.

yet they ask a share of the sweat of my brow,
for men who don't even know,
what it takes to work with two hands
and leave blood and tears on time's sands.
brushing aside my claims to my right,
painting their faces of woe and plight,
mouthing,'blessed are the meek...'
while of hypocrisy their breath reeks.
all of this i will fight
even if darkness claims the last light.

i will wake each morning in constant fear
of someone who will push, someone dear.
someone who in the name of love,
will deal the final blow from above.
in my darkest hour, if i gave away my key,
its then, that i fear i may cease to be.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

the brothel with a wooden balcony

Men were sitting with their legs stretched on the wooden balcony, and a woman was entertaining them with her talk. We were all waiting for our chance to cuddle with the woman, and cuddle means cuddle. I was sitting on the side railings, with my legs stretched, and comfortable with the whole situation. Beside me sat two little girls, daughters of the our host. I tried to talk with one of the girls, but she was not interested. She ran away. I thought of the whole cuddling thing, the soft white bed on the floor, all fluffy, and the fluffy woman. I felt a little naked in my shorts and the short dress that i wore over it. The wind was getting a little chilly. But my mind was calm. I dont know whether i got my chance or i just got what i wanted , but i started to leave. I walked down the nicely crafted, wooden stair case and entered the corridor which leads outside. While i was walking along the corridor, i got a glipse of whats going in the next house connected to the same corridor. A woman was teaching another woman the right demeanor for her honeymoon time. She was acting shy, and she was dressed nicely in a white dress , and was practising different expressions. I walked on silently.

An old one

Buried in the sands of time I strain to hear the voice within the noise.

Worried and infected by the touch of crime, I fear I have no choice.

Head full of heavy metal and searching for peace.

Dreaming of blue skies and sleeping under the trees.

The shadows deepen and summer sings.

Melting the joy and other such things.

Hoping that each new step is not another mistake.

Praying that destiny is mine to make.

Watching but not seeing, running but not fleeing.

In circles I go, painful it is I know.

Friends watch and so do foes.

I can’t see the enemy within me.

Should I buy a gun and blow my brains out?

That is a question still resting in the shadow of a doubt.

Friendless and endless, I rest in unease.

Paradise promised panacea prescribed.

Desolation destroyed desperation described.

The solutions dissolve,

The corroded remains of the iron resolve.

Thoughts in chaos, brain cells in quantum disarray.

Fragments of me watch the whole in dismay.

Mathematics violated, the summation of the parts results not in the whole.

Theophysics ridiculed, I indulge in the fragmentation of the soul.

The atom of creative thought consistently broken.

Kilotons of epic yield pass by unspoken.

Words that could change the cosmos,

Evade the membrane that captures it, almost.

Endless summers raining on my mental forge and anvil,

Reduce the crude ore of thought to nothing, null, void and nil.

Within the calm vortex of my storm, I mock my peace.

Something that i wrote so long ago that I have forgotten its context...Some of it still is good, though it is mostly sick rhymes thats all...

Thursday, August 04, 2005


This has a dejavu feel for me. After weeks and months of boring life, suddenly you are dropped into a nice world for a limited amount of time. And then you see a lot of nice thing, nice unknown people, nice unseen places, and then you are taken to a calm cozy place to sleep and a moment to think whats happening. And you feel, that you were born today morning, though you feel like having the wisdom of atleast a 10 year old, and you remember that you have family and friends whom you care about. But there are just no memories before the start of this adventure. You try to retain the dementia and savour it as long as possible. And to your surprise it lingers.