Saturday, October 29, 2005


Whenever the blue pill starts tasting bitter, he thinks of the red pill. How pathetic.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

annie hall

Alvy Singer: [narrating] After that it got pretty late, and we both had to go, but it was great seeing Annie again. I... I realized what a terrific person she was, and... and how much fun it was just knowing her; and I... I, I thought of that old joke, y'know, the, this... this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, uh, my brother's crazy; he thinks he's a chicken." And, uh, the doctor says, "Well, why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "I would, but I need the eggs." Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y'know, they're totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and... but, uh, I guess we keep goin' through it because, uh, most of us... need the eggs.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

The Awakening

If helped me wake up, the Documentary "What the Bleep do we know?" helped me get going! ie try and do something about whats happening! This Movie/Documentary tries to explain our every day world thru Quantum Physics (My notorious seminar subject).

Amazing visual effects, propelled by Powerful explananations by the Scientists and thinkers, this one hit me at the core. Is reality already existant or does the Observer have any role in creating it ? What is the fundamental building block or how far down the rabbit hole can you go ? -- molecule ? atom ? electron cloud ? nucleus ? anti-matter ? ... or do we end up with a wave of probability .. which is thoughts/ideas ?

There is a wonderful scene in the movie where the protagonist is near a basket ball court. When she is not looking at the court, the basket ball is a wave of probability - ie its everywhere ... but when she looks at it is at one place.

Heisenberg uncertainty principle states that one cannot assign with full precision values for certain pairs of observable variables, including the position and momentum, of a single particle at the same time.

So when you are not looking at the basket ball, it can be anywhere. its a wave of probability. But the moment you look at it, its an experience, its matter, it has one location.

What then decides that ultimate position where it ends up ? ie the position where it will be ? If everything is ultimately built upon waves of probabilities ...arent we all basically one ?

Strange but true, the universe is vast .. you can never reach its boundaries, but try travelling inside ... ie , into matter ..and thats equally vast..

Scientists have discovered and photographed the super-positioned state of matter ? one photon at two different places at the same time (TIME ? -- now what is that ?)

Practically , what does it mean ? ... In classical physics, In classical religion, Reality is already there ...You are just a part of it .. playing your rule. God has already laid out the plans for you are just acting our part ...

But think in terms of Quantum Physics -- The Observer is defining Reality!
WARNING: This can get really wacko from here. I might contradict myself ;-) And this is becoming an awfully long blog (Now , I am trying to purposely modify the reality by sending the word - awfully long blog into your brains - because i define you, or rather there is no i and you , we are all one)

The brain cannot distinguish between an actual event and a memory, if both of them depict the same thing. "What the Bleep Do we know" - The movie has wonderful animations depicting the working of the Hypothalamus generating peptides which inturn bombard the receptor sites on our cells. Cells inturn undergo changes to respond to the emotions ..It also beautifully describes concepts like addictions, ageing ...
The brain cannot understand , something which it has not believed.

It is said that , when Christopher Columbus' (or someone else) ships were nearing the shores of some land, the natives could see the water move in a strange fashion, but couldnt see a Ship, because they had never seen a ship before! This might sound absurd, but think about it.. are we only perceiving things , which we have seen/ observed/ believed in some way ? Is there a lot of other information which is entering through our senses which our brain cannot interpret. What if there is more to the Electro Magnetic spectrum ? What if we can sense beyond what we are sensing now ?

The bottom line is : Thoughts are the building blocks. Thoughts dont exist until we think about them ? You can affect other entities using thoughts. There is even photographic evidence of water reacting to blessing, anger, love, thank you .. and other emotions . I personally dont like this example though.

Do thoughts translate into moments in reality ? Why then cant i change everthing wrong or everything bad ? Why doesnt everything fit in ? Because every positve thought is sitting on a cloud of negative thoughts - which has accumulated due to our stagnant and seasoned daily lives .. If we are happy with the daily routine, and like to believe that we have no control over our reality, then there is no way we can affect it. We will believe that we are here just to play our parts - like people have done for ages.

But if we can transcend the routine, and the helplessness, which is a very tough thing, cant we not see that our purpose is to evolve significantly to the next level ? There is a whole world out there .. of possibilities ... wave of possibilities ..

can the wave of possibilites which transcend addiction and emotion depict NIRVANA ?

Is that the true definition of heaven ? If everything in the universe is built of the same wave of possibilities .. does that mean , that GOD is all of us or we are all GODS ? How do we praise GOD then ? How do we define suffering / pain / help ?

what are the rules ?Thankfully MATRIX has served as a bible for me for sometime now. See this

NEO (V.O.)
I believe deep down, we both want this world to change. I believe that the Matrix can remain our cage or it can become our chrysalis, that's what you helped me to understand. That to be free, you cannot change your cage. You have to change yourself.

NEO (V.O.)
When I used to look out at this world, all I could see was its edges, its boundaries, its rules and controls, its leaders and laws. But now, I see another world. A different world where all things are possible. A world of hope. Of peace.

What is NEO actually talking about here ? .. A different world where all things are possible. A Quantum Physical world where everything is possible ? Where the Observer defines reality ? .

NEO (V.O.)
I can't tell you how to get there, but I know if you can free your mind, you'll find the way.

That exactly is the task at hand - FREE MY MIND! . If we can do that , we will find the way .. of evolving into the next level.

A Tribute to James Horner

The best soundtracks i can think of , are credited to James Horner!

Brave Heart, Titanic, Apollo 13, The Mask of Zorro, The Legend of Zorro* , Jumaji, Aliens, Iris , Jade, Casper, I love you to death (and i .. will always love you...), Commando, Star Trek - II

Check out the complete list here

<< Who did Terminator 2 ? >>

Thursday, October 20, 2005


NOTA BENE: If you are reading this, read it to the end. A little knowledge is dangerous :-) I am deeply indebted to Harish for his thoughtful insights, guidance and source material in my quest.

Ram once remarked , "Hinduism is a free religions. There are no obligatory rituals. Infact, its a generic code of life. Islam and Christianity on the other hand give importance on umpteen rituals, the church/mosque and the priests.. why so ?"

A few days back, I was back in office after Iftar (break-fast ?;-)) and browsing without any directions, what so ever. I happened to visit a site called The article I read was Theft . Its about the so called punishment of 'chop his hands, if he is a thief'. In 15 minutes flat, I realized , the horror of Interpretation. Whilst the Quran means 'Cut his resources, and make him work to repay the stolen property', todays Islamic governments blindly follow 'Chop his hands!'. A little more research and I found out that most of the rituals followed today are baseless and never mentioned in the Code Book of Islam!..

1) Prayer, its format, its timings .. (5 times ? Arabic - NO!!)
2) Punishment for theft (cut his hand ? - NO!!)
3) Punishment for adultery (stone to death - blasphemous!!)
4) Dress code (black veil ? - Never .. )
and many more ... What i realized was that every little thing which had poked my consciousness when i did them was a man made rule .

How did these rules come into existence ? By a clever technique called Hadith or Sunna, which is supposedly the life of the prophet. Start reading any hadith .. anyone would be immediately filled with doubt .. (Mr X friend of Y, the follower of Z, heard from Mr A, that he saw Mr B telling to Mr C, that Mr C saw the prophet ...) See the lineage ?! This is because such rules never existed during the time of the prophet and was thought up the Religious leaders almost 7 generations after his death ! What a mind job ?! People follow it blindly today without any questions ....

Any story of unbelievable acts / magic / warewolves ... or special effects are human additions, be it to the Quran/Hadith , the Bible or the Bhagavad Gita ...

Then I came to know about something , which struck me like thunder. It is widely believed that there is only one version of Quran and that God himself has vowed to protect it. Are there actually two versions - Hafz and Warsh ? with minor changes in letters ,words .. There are also other versions like Tashkant Quran.
The Bottom line is .. there are different versions of all religious books, they are only aimed at making the world a better place, but making people do the right thing. ie as long as you dont cause any hardships to your fellow beings and live in harmony with nature! The rest is Man created propaganda about GOD , Heaven , hell and all.

Heaven is a concept which i was very confused about from the very beginning. If i have everything i want, would i be happy ? How do we define happiness without sorrow ? Quote from MATRIX

Did you know that the first Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world? Where none suffered, where everyone would be happy. It was a disaster. No one would accept the program. Entire crops were lost.

If you argue that my state of being in heaven would be quite different from what i am now, how do i then relate my present being to that state ? I mean how would i remember or recognize my previous state in this worldly world ? Interesting , Quantum Physics seems to have a much better definition of heaven. I have mentioned this at the end of this blog.

I think that Islam and Christianity have been affected by a common plague - The glorification of their messengers (jesus/mohammed) and power of attorney for the church/mosque/priests! Just like what the protagonist in STIGMATA writes on the wall in hebrew , and further speaks out when possessed.
Frankie [in the Italian voice of Paolo Alameida, a dead priest]: The messenger is not important.
This message has been repeated over the ages ! The messenger is not important , the message is !! Religions are , but for peaceful coexistance . Its not for glorification of messengers, priests, rituals or god himself!

One dialogue from the Matrix makes most sense -
You have to understand that most of these people are not ready to be unplugged and many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system that they will fight to protect it.

And I have experienced this personally. Any questions on rituals ... they debate for some time saying Quran is a book of signs and need further human explanation !
While Quran says its complete, clear and simple !
and then they give up, saying .. "I am not the all knowing, i follow what my forefathers did!", Which exactly is rebuked by the Quran -
And if they are told to follow what God has granted, they say ‘nonetheless we follow what we found our forefathers on’ What if their forefathers do not understand a thing and are not guided (2:170)
They are so hopelessly dependant on the system that they will fight to protect it!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Blast from the past

This below is heavenly!!! Neo at his fertile best. For non CET folks, Soorji (affectionately known as Garbhu) was my roommate in first year and the sole reason for the coining of the masculine gender of 'garbhini'.

Read on...

Copyright Neo Films 2003

Note: The Reader may search and Replace all occurences of 'Bala'
with 'Ram' according to his convenience.

Bala Couldnt Sleep

Couldn't Sleep... What the heck ? you would say .. thats a problem everyone has these days. The only difference would be the reason. And thats what this is about ...

After 3 hours of non-stop grilling session with Electrical Machine Design , and Metallica ringing in his ears , a tired peed Bala went to the T.V Room in the middle of the night. It was all eerie with spiders and stuff to his company. Soorji was snoring loud at one of the corners. Bala was a little surprised at the emptiness of the room. It was only 2.30 and everyone was sleeping. (Its said that MH never sleeps). Bala had been waiting for this one moment the whole of his lifetime ... he had spent at MH. He looked at the tool of his desire ... The long... black .. beauty lying just beside Soorji .... With one swift leap , he took it in his hands....

The REMOTE. The yellow glow from the ring on the Ftv model's titties glew in his eyes. " Now I am the king! The TV's mine! ", he must have said . From there, the story was similar to what a 16 year old would have done during his first night. Bala scurried (is that a right term?) through the entire frequency range searching for the show of his desire ... and Finally he got it Mtv-ICON-Metallica ON STAGE-whatever. 15 minutes passed and then suddenly... (SCROLL DOWN)

There was a loud Crack and Boom...
The TV Went off ...
It was as if a meteor had landed. It was all dark ...

In a split second,Bala was out of the room and ran to the middle of now where... That was a foolish decision, because he thought he had made a 180 degree turn, whereas infact he had only made a 90 degree turn...and he rushed into one of the prohibited toilets.... P-L-A-C-H-K-U ... that was exactly the sound ...he was splattered flat on the wall of the toilet, his leg in the little watery toilet with some dry shit and his leg twisted. It took him a whole 30 minutes to recover and our dear hero found his way through the dark to the Cooler, only to find that it was empty. He had to do with some paper and the three drops that trickled every 7 seconds. At that very moment ... Bala's brain began to work .. and he thought ... "What had happened in there?" . Soorji.......?! "

The warrior instincts in Bala awoke and he darted to the TV Room. Midway, the only foolishness he did was to get strangled by the Asianet Cable. He peeped into the dark TV Room.

" Su.. su.. su.. Soorji ..."
A loud grumbling was the response.
He could also hear the whirring of the fan. The power is back, Bala's detective instincts told him.

Bala stepped inside the TV Room, and let his hands find the Switch on the wall. He found the switch alright and turned it on.
The sound was...
" Pzzzzzzzz.. zzwip "
Three of Bala's nostril's hairs burned. (A Small short circuit effect on the Experienced-High-Voltage-Electrical-Engineer). That was all that happened. No lights.. But by now, Bala's eyes had accustomed to the moon light in the room.

And then he saw it .... THE HORROR ... THE HORROR ....

There was more moon light in the room , than there had been before. And there was a strong-disgusting smell of urine. (Though this was usual in the TV room, as the urinal was very close to it and shared a common air duct).

And then he saw in awe and respect... A whole circular piece about the size of table, of concrete Roof had fallen!!! This moment was heavenly .. The moon smiled through the new found hole in the roof and seemed to say .. "It was not me .. Bad Contractors.. "

Slowly .. in bullet time , Bala's opened mouthed face looked where the piece had fallen...

"bluhu hoo " --- Bala cried like a little baby.
It was right on Soorji's tummy. (That explained the extra smell of urine in the room). And there Soorji was .. still snoring his way to the 7th stage of sleep.

For a moment, Bala didnt know what to do. Then deciding that it was his duty to help his friend from such distress, he decided to help...
But How...Poor Soorji was sleeping , and did he know that 5 kilos of concrete roof was lying on his tummy?.. Maybe he did have some wierd dream of being crushed by an elephant... But he was still asleep.

Bala's neo-cortex came up with a plan. He used his talent in tickling Soorji to the right position, (whence he discovered where the source of the loud grumbling he had heard before), so that he could knudge the concrete piece .
By 4 am, he was all done...
Though nothing happened to Soorji (infact he didnt even know), Bala was really affected/effected by the incident.

Bala Couldnt Sleep anymore.

The moment he closed his eyes... All sorts of wierd images would creep up.
They were specifically.... things that could fall on him, while he was asleep.
Concrete Roof .. ? Fan ..? Bulb ? Tube Light.
As a remedy , He decided to sleep in open space. When a dog peed on him, he decided to conquer his fear of heights and sleep on the terrace.

But that only made things worse...
He found new things to worry about.
Airplanes .. Jets... Tired Flying Birds.. Unconscious Flying Birds ...Clouds , Moon .. Stars .. Comets ....

He couldnt find a place ... where nothing would fall on him.
He even thought of sleeping under water (in our famous tank) with a pipe to breath...
But after a few minutes , he would surface ...

So thats why Bala Couldnt/Cant Sleep.

If anybody has a solution please contact him.

C 219
Men's Hostel

Copyright Neo Films 2003

Monday, October 10, 2005

From the past by bala-2


Brought to earth, upon a broken wing,
crawling with ants, lowly, slithering,
looks above to see comrades fly
a few feet above, but it felt like sky.

Waiting for a speedy end,
adapting, he begins to pretend.
like an ant he scrounges around,
hoping to hear death's stealthy sound.

Came bouncing along that cruel child,
twinkling eyes with merry wild.
He tore away the moth's last vestige,
ripping apart his cloak of insectly prestige.

Reduced to just another ant,
with no wings to rave and rant.