Saturday, February 07, 2015

From exile


legal pot
thaws my heart

though my mind races
on the same highways
broken by guilt
and self doubt

legal pot
thaws my heart

as the fine snow cover
melts slow and
i still hold the chambers
of hatred unopened
legal pot thaws my heart
for precious hours, minutes and seconds

Frown on your brows, I see them in my dreams
Right lane should turn right
But I go straight any way
Into the pit I fall and I leave my hands
idle, wait for the rocks, and dirt
It goes on, and I don't feel them
I go straight any way
I see the faces in the dark, the frown
of my forefathers, nothing stops my ride

I go straight any way

Saturday, March 15, 2014

There is this one...

There is this scene in 'Fight Club', where the insomniac protagonist attends some sort of meditation/empowerment session, and the guide asks everyone to close their eyes and visualize their power animal, followed by their power word. For some reason, Edward Norton sees a Penguin, and hears the word 'Slide'. 

There is this one moment in our life, when something simple like a butterfly's wing flap alters the entire course of our story. 

There is this one visitor, who speaks of one experience that makes us realize the value of everything we hold and everything we don't. 

There is this one written work, which makes us pause and reveals a new meaning every time we read it.

There is this one act of kindness, that makes us forget all differences and act selflessly.

There is this one person, in whom you find your mirror. 

Donnie Darko in 'Donnie Darko' sees a man-sized bunny, who says nothing, but some-how constantly reminds him of a greater purpose, or bigger responsibility ~ To restore the time-space continuum.

Which is that one moment, when you finally say "I have arrived"?

Which is that ground you can call home? 

Which is that one thing, other than yourself that you trust more?

What power does it give you, to know that, you have finally imprinted your existence?

How does it feel to look at yourself through someone else's eyes? 

Quite often, its difficult to zero in on an exact moment when we tipped over. Its a slow gradual change, which grows within us un-noticed or intentionally. Nevertheless, its a difficult excercise to repeat or explain or teach some one else how we exactly went through it. This is when 'memories can be trecherous'. We selectively remember what our brain wishes to remember. 

There is this one experience, where no single element of it needs alteration. 

There is this one event, where just being present makes all the difference.

There is this one conversation, where just being silent conveys all that is to be said. 

There is this one journey, where the journey itself is all that matters and not the destination.

There is this one challenge, which will tax all that you are composed of and bring out a new you.

Not every discovery is made amidst war, adversity or necessity. Some of them, do gently mist down upon us quietly in silent moments of tranquility and recollection.

There is this one story, which you can write one  whole day, and still come back and write some more.......

Hoping to come back and write some more....

Tuesday, February 04, 2014


This dense land calms me
with its long narrow walking lanes,
hard soil with coarse trees
and the feel of my father’s steps

In that plot on my right I could see
joys of communal farming, places
where toddy fell on the ground and
the little smiles around that patch

I forget the harsh sounds that
echo in my years of my father’s name
being called by kids half his age
stripped naked without a respectful tail

I forget the mounts that my mother climbed
and insults she took while hungry and tired
with me in her belly and mind
and her futile dreams of happiness and light

And I measure each sound here, each breath
in this land, study the dead bodies and
the live ones. To learn the secret of the beasts
who raped this paradise of warmth

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Neo versus The One

Yet another long Flight conversation. I don't beg your pardon for the incoherent "R"ambling.

Neo: You cannot bring that analogy. Are you deliberately shooting tangents to add to the randomness of the equation?

The One: You do understand that you are just another iteration of me plus a half-lifetime of experience.

Neo: Exactly my point. Isn't one half-life enough for a new revelation or life changing experience. You would agree that though there might be precursors, change always can be attributed to One moment.

The One: No. That's the whole point. Your life is just a progressive elaboration of your predecessors. You are not expected to override the foundations and start off something totally new. Your life is that of the "The One".

Neo:  Should everything be "One" ? What about duality? "Ying" and "Yang"? Good & Evil?

The One: Try re-arranging the alphabets of your name. Neo - One. You should stand for the principle of "One". Singularity.

Neo: Explain please.

The One: One life, One birth, One death, One dad, One mom, One brother, One sister, One wife, One daughter, One Son.

Neo: Well, without re-arranging the letters of my name , its "Neo" , which means "New". I am supposed to add something "New" , to what is already known.

The One: Yes. Do "add" something new. Not override or delete whatever existed before.  Add something in minor increments, you are free to add anything from 6.1 to 6.9. But, 7.0 is the right of your successor.

Neo: I am only asking you to consider a minor Anomaly. Its not like we are completely devoid of anomalies. Heck, my purpose is to gather all anomalies and return them to source. Can't I generate an anomaly of my own?

The One: Yes, do gather existing anomalies and return them to the source for our better understanding. If you add something radically new, it would defeat the purpose of "organizing the world's information".

Neo: Let's back track to this obsession with "one" for a moment. Why not dual like "good and evil"? Or why not the Holy Trinity - "Father , son and holy spirit? or Quadra - "The four headed brahma who sees all around past present future unseen", the four headed lion of asoka, or Penta - the five elements - "Earth, water, fire, wood, metal" or Six schools of thought "consciousness and matter, meditation contemplation and liberation, logic, atomism, orthopraxy, vedanta" or the Seven skies and Seas, or the Eight - the existence of "eight" in nature all around, or the 9 lives, or the 10 avatars of god? Why stop at ONE and be obsessed by it? Why not Zero then?

The One: You answered it yourself. If you decided to step away from "One" in either direction, be it positive or Negative , there is no ending. You wont be able to stop yourself from moving forward or backward. You will find excuses to believe that what you have "One" is not enough, you need 2, 3, 4 and so on.... Or In the reverse way, you will find excuses to give up more and more, believing that you already have too much, so you would subtract things from your life -1,-2,-3 and so on ... In either case, you will either end up having "too many things" , if you keep adding things .... or you will end up "dead" , if you keep subtracting things. Given enough time, anyone can prove anything. You must stick to "One".

Neo: If that was the case, if everything was perfectly arranged at equal distances, and was "One", wouldn't we cease to exist? Why bother to wake up every day?

The One: Can you guarantee that you will stop at this "one" small addition / anomaly?

Neo: You can easily corner me with that, because I am the one asking for the change or choice. This conversation is not ended. I will change this to me questioning you, when I have enough evidence at my side. Heck, I am Human, not a machine like you.

The One: I will be waiting right here.

Sunday, September 01, 2013

32 | Middle Earth

This is middle earth. This is the break-even point.
Do not look back at what you have run through.
Nor at the waterfall and the skies that lay ahead.
Stand right here, at this moment,
and feel the murmur of anxiousness fade away

From this moment, whatever you want is a luxury,
Whatever you dread is an inevitable consequence of living,
and none of your steps shall be on the feet of another,
Taken enough, Given enough, Stay.... Don't let go

On the right horizon is the crescent of Khairullah (Kerala),
pictured on the skies are the faces of loved ones,
On the left horizon high aloft , the glowing sun of aboodhabi,
with blessings, love and grace of a foster parent

This is 32, not 23 nor 64, this is middle earth,
Look empathetic ally at the less fortunate ones,
Look sympathetically at the more arrogant ones,
Carry your own Climate, making them wonder - and he smiles!

Breathe in, Breathe out, and realize ...
There is nothing more you want, nothing less either,
This is that perfect moment of being alive,
Being content with discomfort, Being alive at unplanned

Phew... This is yuk! Cant write anymore....

Saturday, August 03, 2013

The Man from Earth

Quite simply, one of the best movies ever made

If you can get 5 University Professors with PhD's to believe what you say , over one fine afternoon with Jhonny Walker Green, you can make the world believe it as well :)

Watched it again after many years. Simply Fantastic.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Upstream Color

From the creator of "Primer" , Shane Carruth, comes his next experiment - 'Upstream Color".  I have no clue what this cinema means, and will probably keep coming back to it to understand more.

Prepare to be baffled. Down right scary at times. Confusing. Artistic. Philosophical. Haunting.

Shane Carruth is the Hero, Writer, Director, Cinematographer, Editor, Composer & Co-producer of the film. Phew!

PS: See at your own risk!
Fingers Frozen. My writing skills have been so damned with RFPs, Proposals, PPTs and spreadsheets, that I have to borrow this line from about the movie ... "The movie, though, with all of its weird sidetracks and dead ends, is so uniquely itself that it is worth the frustration." 

Tuesday, June 11, 2013


a blob of butter in a saucer
a cube of ice in a glass
a bunch of flowers
and a small heart

rays of sun through the shadows
air, with dust and pollen
small beats from the childrens' feet
all together and he kept vigil

butter was softer, ice was not there
flowers withered with petals hanging
reds were forgone and ash was in
the icy heart alone defied the summer

Friday, January 11, 2013

The ThisThat Gate

I woke up feeling quite low. So I picked up a full bottle of vodka and off I go.
I walk through these unfamiliar streets of a sleepy coastal town.
Taking wild swigs off of the bottle, strangers' eyes wouldn't meet.
It's like they have already classified me a lush, and have beaten a hasty retreat.
I pay no mind as I keep on drinking, though at a distance I see an old flame & her mother get out of a car
Strangely this shames me somehow and I sidestep into what I thought was a bar.
Turns out it is a frat house and the party is at full swing.
I go from room to room, like a fly on the wall
Everyone is happy and seem to be having a ball.
I kept climbing up the stairs. until at the end I was walking down a hall.
At the end there was a balcony overlooking the sea
And a scenic coastline calling out to me.
I am stuck by a perfectly rectangular  opening on the cliffside, opening directly onto the sea
"What is that?", I asked the next guy who walked past me
"Oh, that is The ThisThat Gate.", He said offhandedly.
I was fascinated and obsessed, like a moth to the flame
I had to go there and no excuse felt lame.
I hurried on home and, strangely, felt sober along the way
I saw my maid was doing the dishes as I tried to make sense of my day.
I began packing and also throwing away things, systematically.
When I realized that I really only needed for the trip was just me.
Without another word or worrying about closing up the house behind me, I go
I slip out of the gate in the falling darkness. Something is amiss, but I just don't know
I walked about a mile before it struck me that I was not wearing a shirt and I almost felt embarrassed.
Then I look down and I saw that I was strangely ripped.
Not like a professional bodybuilder but just fit & toned.
I backtracked to my house to find a shirt and found the maid sitting outside crying softly
I asked her why and what went wrong.
She told me that she ran out of water before she was all done and
Didn't know what to make of this misery that upon her was brung.
I told her to go home and not to worry about it.
I told her the keys would be under the mat tomorrow and if I wasn't home, she shouldn't worry about it either.
And then I walked away...

*From a dream I managed to recollect for once in some detail. From the Lost & Found department of my mailbox. And also 1st post of the year, so Happy New Year to the Exodians! Far may your brains wander!

Friday, July 20, 2012

inaccuracies in nostalgic images and heartburn caused by it

what was the number on that door
was the number on the door or above it
was the paint grey or green
was there paint
did it smell like urine or fresh soil when it rained

was i in the room or in the corridor
was the room bolted
was it silent
was it lonely or over crowded
was i good at the game i played and did i clear the final level