Abolish Me From This Blog !!!

Ever since i got my first salary , to a few weeks back , i was disoriented, hallucinated, mislead ... Put in better words ,i got myself into a destructive pattern ... But a few weeks back something magical happened ... I suddenly outgrew myself ... ofcourse its no drastic change on the outside .. but ofcourse, it something to do with " i have learnt to live with myself ! " ha !!..
I believe i am removing the "HELPLESSNESS" factor .. phew !
Prioritize on "Excercising" "Remove haught from the system" !

cut back to august 2003:
gradually i moved from one extreme to the other ... my idea was to be involved in every activity till i got bored , this way i could remove all my addictions and afflictions and be a saint.. Put in better words (bala's term) .. PRUDNAR .. Pious, religious , unsophisticated NAR.

the idea was fundamentally flawed and each affliction made me more weak, both physically and mentally. and the sad thing was , i couldnt prove myself that i had done anything OUT OF THE BOX ! it was all normal.

Then , i began to think that the reason to all pain, all misery , all sufferings is our FREE TIME, yeah, just because our life style is all so wretched that we just have to take care of a few things to live .. we dont care how food is produced, how clothes are made ,how houses are made .. how we protect ourselves bare handed ... just beacause we are fucking software professionals ...(fuck! it feels great to say FUCK after a long fucking time ! fuck again !!! fooooooooook )

yeah, its true that human civilization has advanced so far because we divided all our responsibilities .. Imagine Cave man days .. men hunt , kids play , women cook, fuck all night , save for future .. i mean that was cool , No fucking free time .. but look now, we got awfully a long free time ....if you dont have free time, then probably you are doing some work repeatedly all day long (TYPING / COUNTING / TALKING) ? .. the same work over and over again .. and then dash of to a BLACK SLEEP with no dreams and no IDEA of whether you want to wake up tommorow ?

if all of us do our own cultivation, cooking , washing , and everthing else .. there will be no fucking boredom, i think!! but then what will happen to the destitute and the poor and the weak .... ofcourse we gonna help them .. aint we ? ha ha ha ...