It gets to you. No matter where you are. No matter who you are with. It is bound to happen. It is probably just you in search of a kindred spirit. Sometimes it is just you in search of time away from kindred spirits.
Can't live with it. Cannot live without it. Khalil Gibran once said (though grossly misquoted by this psuedo intellectual) "Grief is the lathe that tears at our heart, making the cup for us to hold our joy"
Alas my cup of woes overfloweth.
Misery is my middle name. I cannot make new friends. I make new aquaintances, try to be as positive as I can. Slowly I start comparing them against rigid standards against higher examples of friendship. And the rot begins. I soon cannot even stand them. I do all I can to avoid them and their company.
After a few days they are happy as before and dont seem to notice my shift in attitude. I grow even more bitter at this indifference. I seethe. I rage. I bleed.
Yellow bile rises and I taste it at the back of my throat. I want to spit it out in spite. Instead I swallow it back down with inane conversations and Taco Bell Burritos.
It is just a rant. Ignore it.
2 comments:
Feel I owe to good old Khalil a true quote...
"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain."
Ya, it gets to you, always, and i feel shitty when i live with it.
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