Scared after Sunset

Scared of the Sunset
Afraid of the Aftermath:
Everyone's "left for the day". The office has become silent. I have finished reading the blogs, news, done some reading, talking, coordinating and begging.. I have heard enough music, seen enough movies... what next ?
8 PM.
The most dreaded hour in a day. To post-mortem the day and the past, to think about the future.
Thoughts, beyond a certain limit are the most dreaded company anyone can have.
"Dont think! Just do it" was an advice from a friend, or was it a foe?
I can barely blog... its repulsive... Like stepping down from talk to blog, now i have stepped down to one-liners.
A blog is too much. I cannot be coherent enough to last a paragraph, One liners are cool..
Like in memento... "Short things are sweet".

Elevators:
Elevators transport people and goods vertically. It is also a place where you are up close against a total stranger. An elevator is a place where destiny chooses two people to meet. Sometimes , if you are inside the elevator with a foe, or a person of the opposite gender, you spend the silent moments looking up at the ceiling, staring straight ahead or looking right down, hands tied. Stimbi once said that he felt awkward in the CTS lift, when a nicely dressed and sweet smelling g was standing really really close to him in the elevator. Things worsen, if there is no one speaking (which is usual). Thoughts shoot off in all tangents.

Asahishnutha: (Intolerance)
Incapacitated to live amongst the crowd. Fear of the crowd. Need for quiet, serene, calm .. harmony with nature, whatever. I dont know why, i hate the crowd. Take a walk in Nasr square, sabhka, .. bloody hell, you cant walk without hitting anyone. This place is infested with people. All a person owns here is 6 feets long, 3 feet wide and 5 feet high rectangular bunk bed space. Make it oblong, and yeah! thats were we all gonna end up!. Call me a crowd hater or whatever, i cant stand it!

Desperate by Desires:
S : "You like being desp ...".
J :"No, i dont! Are you gone nuts ? WHo wants to be desp ?"
S : "Do you really like to party after a great victory or party after a great failure ?"
J : "Alright, lets list out all the desires in the form of a mind map. Give me 10 years salary, a big room to stay, nice homely food, a calm serene and natural environment, and a high speed internet connection ."
S : "Sounds normal, except for the 10 year salary lumpsum, for which you'll need a lottery, or great investment plan, nut is that all ? I like your random word shoot out ... so shoot!"
J : "well .. here goes.... Web 2.0, Python, Java , J2EE, Solar Power Harvesting, Rain water harvesting, Water recycling, Clean fuel, Bicycle, Open spaces, wide open fields, village, Rain, Simple Technology,Fruit Juices, Fruits and Vegetables, Tea, Chips, Self boss, Movies, Music, Poetry, Automation , Aggregation, Security, Alter ego, Balance!"
S : "Good! Keep doing that, and you will end up in an assylum soon, For heaven sake, sort out your priorities and act upon them, one after the other.... instead of carrying all that filth in your brain ,and burdening yourself with the thought"
J : "Phew ...been trying that for quite long now."

Perform-Conform-Reform
Why dont you conform to the NORMAL life ? Why do you always rebel ? Given the infinite number of explanations, why cant you be happy with the simplest one ? Dont wonder about where the ELECTRON really is... Move on! Build your principles, take things for granted! dont be puzzled with how does a lighter work, use it!
Why do you question the obvious religion ? When you have discovered that its belief , all that matters.. whether you call it quantum physics or religion. Why do feel, you cannot walk with the crowd ? Why do you always step out ? Why are you so insensitive to others ? Why the heck , are you making this is a hate psyho blog ? look at ram ,and the simple blunkasy smile ... wooo hey! Look at sijin and the million things he does parallely, some work, some dont.. but what the heck, he knows exactly what to do next. Look at zeus, he is the hulk! And look at yourself, you are fed by nothing but your EGO and thoughts! Aargh! Disgusting..........


Probability:
Probably this is the way its meant to be. To move from one Milestone to other, to keep up with Life, who is bent upon overtaking you, and showing his ass off.... Probably, there is no such thing as "Yup, i feel great". I just have to pretend, yeah, i feel great. Thanks to my coordination skills now, I beg to the Support fellow , "Please create a blah blah on the ssss with a 322222" , and in the next split second i say "foog you.mofo". Need to be spanked, to look at the billion poor indians, with nothing... Nay, i dont wanna think about anything. I am tired about my thinking brain!!!!!