The Kick.........

alas! the kick.....

all the seconds that took him to splash in 

he looked like a tadpole, curled into a mirror c shape

the impulse of the kick on his belly, making him spit out water...

his vision blurred, that of his kicker..

and the astounded onlookers...

from the moment he was lifted into air..

by the impulse of the kick, 

until his hits the water thats below...

this is all the time that is there for the universe to create something...

to alter the outcome, to pave a new path,

to open a new dimension...

or just lay back and see how the physics unfold....

Jim Carrey would say there are only 3 elements to a kick....

the kicker, the kick and the kickee....

what he perceives as one instant, is so fulfilling and mindbogglingly complex...

because at this instant , although his conscious mind is trying to understand..

the lack of gravity he is experiencing because of the fall...

the excruciating pain because of the kick  ....

and the muted world around him as he hears only his scream..

his subconscious mind is actually toying with several memories and thoughts ...

crunching out infinite equations in his super quantum computer brain ...

adding parallel definitions to his physical fall.... 

and his mental rise or oblivion...

Footnote: if you are wondering whats with the dots (.....) , i found that i can do away with all punctuation in English language and replace them with 2 "dot" and space (not technically a punctuation) 

Footnote 2: I want to rewrite this... But I am too lazy to edit or rephrase!

A healthy disrespect

It is nearly two months since I quit my old job, took an idealistic stand and 2/3rds paycut. There was a part of me that was convinced that I was doing the right thing, another that acknowledged that this driven partly by boredom, and minor third that was just scared shitless.


So 2 months in, what do I think of my decision? Best decision ever. I had fallen into a rut, a captivity of negativity and soul crushing boredom at my previous workplace. I was actively slacking but no one could see it. Even if they saw it, an acknowledgement was as damning on them as it might have been on me. So I was coasting on the momentum generated by the first three years of my career. A five year freewheel based on that push. Funnily enough, I got most of my, perhaps undeserved, rewards during this phase. I don't dwell on it much. In the long run things always balance out.


Back to my present situation, I am still in not that dramatic a changeover. My work still sucks from time to time. But there is potential for new and interesting stuff, so I am at it. There is a sense that I am perhaps idling my engine on this job. At least I don't take home an outlandish paycheck that guilts me.


And the paycheck...While there was some fear at the beginning if my lifestyle of material excesses would be able to adjust to the relative impoverishment, I think I am pretty well adjusted quickly on that front. But an unexpected side effect of the paycheck is that I seem to be more willing to speak my mind when my boss comes and asks me, "What is your honest opinion about how I run things here?". Consequences be damned, it is a rush to speak my mind. Of course within reason and the constraints of polite conversation and my boss quite reasonably invited criticism in a private setting than a public forum.


For the first time in 8-9 years, I have been spending time on things that interest me outside of work. Two python programming classes. One upcoming cryptography class and another on sociology. The limits that we once placed on ourselves are disappearing, but to sense them fading you have walk towards them. And it is crazily exciting. I do not know what the future holds for me, but I do know that there is less time than ever to get hung up on bullshit.


Do the things you love. Find some way to pay the bills while making your dream happen. If your work and your passion are the same, you are probably one of the lucky minority. If they aren't don't sweat it and get stuck in a web of dissatisfaction. Just keep a healthy disrespect for your job, get it to pay the bills and make sure it doesn't spill over into other parts of your life. Don't get sucked into playing an office politics game. It is never worth the effort. Someone wants to screw you over and get promoted. Let them. If you continue to get paid without having to care so much about it, you are coming out a winner.


Thus ends this ramble. I have barely been blogging, but when I do it is usually negative abstract crap. But this is the peppiest I have ever been! It is a good life, if you let it be one.