A wreath for my mind

religion has a usage - "what your right hand possesses".
what the fuck do we possess really?
pamper all you want your ego that you understand or own,
if anyone pampers you saying - oh you understand me so much!
for heaven sake, don't get carried away, you understand nothing.
be like einstein, consider yourself the curious child,
at the ocean shore, full of amazement, full of awe and humility.
Never for a moment be carried away at the thought of
"aaha! it all makes sense now, or at least some sense".
the only word in English with some sense is "Nonsense".

mentalist aathi said in an interview on "The Happiness Project"..

"Depression" is a word which is misused often these days.
At the end of depression, there is a place where you actually thrive in pain

Like it fuels you to scoff at those who threaten you with pain.
So then, why seek an alternative heaven or hell?
lets stay put, in this room, in this fountain bubble floating in the cosmos,
endlessly, callously, pretending to be conscious and aware,
trying to understand and do anything if it matters,
pushing our bodies and minds to the extremes of experiences.
the only rule is - Nope, you can't leave the room

Sleep used to be my blessing, my boon. A way in which i find solutions,
a place where i retired the short circuited fuselage with the cockpit
a cocoon of catharsis, a place where i called home, brain-rest
its replaced with crypto currency now, an endless flow of information,
the best way to get knocked out is not alcohol, its information overload
and thankfully, i have found an abode which is an endless supply of data
blockchain, bitcoin, cryptocurrency, the lure of making money without a job

There is no God. There is no Life after death

There is no God
There is no Life after Death
There is no Justice
There is no Karma
The strong feeds on the weak
There is no Truth
Nobody is more important than yourself
Nobody is less important than yourself
Nobody is equivalent to you
Seeking similarity must be stopped at 50%
Seeking difference must be stopped at 50%
Your plan might be a burden on another
Your undecidedness might be a mockery on another
You cannot stop yourself from hurting others
You cannot stop others from hurting you
The past is not forgotten, the future will always be dreaded
in momentary glimpse of hope, love, peace and compassion,
we forget the truth - we are all doomed and take life for granted
A child is worthy dying for
Because thats the only case, where you pay something forward,
without expecting anything in return.
If you are still reading this nonsense,
you need a psychiatrist or better yet a pseudo mentalist
Don't expect anyone to understand you
Don't expect others to understand you
But yes, wake up everyday with Hope
Hope that this day wont leave you lesser than yesterday
and whatever good, bad or ugly you experience
only adds one more neuron, one more word into your DNA
there is no going back, only moving forward
if there is one thing that all of the universe agrees as impossible,
its going back in time. so yes, don't even think about it
be selfish, wipe your regret with the toilet paper of self regard
ooze confidence and trample on others, if you need to eat, sleep or clothe
hesitating you always lost against the persistant him
don't read this again, don't try to understand,
the floor you stand is not yours, the body you own is not yours,
the emotions you feel, might be made to feel, with conjecture


"how long had i been gone, how long had i been back.. did it matter?" - Solaris

3 AM - The Night is Evil

The Night is Evil, The Night is Dark
3 AM is the time when the night shift begins to drift into slumber.
Its the edge of the reason, Its the beginning of treason.
Its when drivers drift away at the steering wheel.
Its when lines become blurred and madness takes over.
Its when the horror of past comes to haunt you over
if you are awake at 3, stay awake till dawn
Don't sleep until you have had sunrise fall on your face
Call it superstition, Call it bullshit
Everything bad that has ever happened, has happened at 3 AM
It is the time of the upside down cross
it is the time for the unholy trinity of evil
man, woman and satan; loved, betrayed and murdered.
neither of them trust each other
yet they all are chained together for some common goal.
Call them the pioneers of a "trustless" economy
bounty hunters of the real god's soul
So, if you feel the dream collapsing at 3 AM,
or a weird surreal sensation of disconnect from reality.
it is not a drug or hormone acting up inside you.
It is the power of 3 AM, it is the point of oblivion
Priorities change, People change, yet one thing is sure,
if there is an hour called 3 AM, you will drift away from your reality.

A B C - A Blood Clot

the wrong ideal,
an incessant need to connect and be found,
an obsession to prove right and win,
a circus of emotions, a plethora of solutions.
playing it cool, versus crumbling into total anhiliation,
losing ground under feet , changing perspectives.
hating the loved one the most,
and loving the hated one the most.
adoration for nothing in particular,
donning the nickname haTred after ages of Quake.
who the f*** are we to own and possess.
nothing belongs, nothing is defined.
mesmerized by the chaos of degenerating cells,
wanting to be coherent and convey a signal, a symbol.
bastards of an unknown god, blue birds of an unknown devil.
sickening long-tailed emails of deliberate smoke,
an inability to empathize, because it/him/her/they don't exist.
the right ending.

Hell

And then pointing to his brain, he said "If there is a hell, its here, its here, its here". 

There was no sign of conflict in the way he said this, no despair, no disappointment. 

No arrogance of having discovered something new, nor shame of repeating the old.

It was a neutral resignation to the fact that this is it, nothing before, nothing beyond.

We speak of such great concepts like "Distributed Consensus" using the block chain and "Decentralized Database" ~ the concept of not owning, but being part of the network. Yet, when it comes to human emotions, we are rather primitive.  We still like to think in terms of hierarchy, ownership, stereotypes brainwashed into us since time immemorial. I firmly believe that block chain is here to stay, and it is the greatest revolution that mankind has ever experienced.

How do you observe without interfering? That was the whole point of Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle. The moment we interfere, we have essentially tampered the natural flow of some thing. We are no longer disconnected from it, but part of the reality.