A quick look back to my last two and a half years coupled with an attempt to make some sense of the things that have happened in this time, would do complete justice to this post's title. I have grown older and not necessarily wiser in the meantime and have had some experiences that were good, some others that were bad and whole lot of others that were plain mediocre.
As always over-philosophizing without the requisite intellectual wherewithal is a recipe for disaster. And an unequivocal one it was...
In an ever more confusing attempt to understand the purpose of my existence, the future I need to work towards and the ideals that I must aspire to...
In other words trying to figure out just what the fuck am I doing here and now...
I believe I have taken the escapist route of finding within that very real realm of imagination I call movies to find characters who mirror my present situation and see where they go with that, by the time the movie ends.
I have not found a single movie that is an accurate reflection of me which might provide a blueprint for my next steps. Instead I have found myself picking the best answer amongst the options available to me.
So who am I?
Patrick Bateman? pissed off with myself but certainly not as hot or as deadly.
Neo? I can quote him and Morpheus to the point of absurdity but the concept of me be being the world's strongest virus program simply is not appealing.
Sidney Young? quirky, crazy and not accepted - Yes. gets the girl in the end - Hell no!
Jack the Narrator? sick of my life, my work and piled up with an urge to pump several rounds into several heads - Yes. Willing to split myself into Tyler Durden to take me past lines drawn by others - Not yet...I think
So basically what all of these dumb solution-evaluation-shite has done is that I assumed persona briefly and judged the reaction from people. And I have come to the conclusion that I have discovered How To Lose Friends And Alienate People successfully. Liked that movie too by the way...
3 comments:
Don't know how to say this. This is what I had been thinking of blogging for the past 6 months.
This post summarizes it all! Thanks Bala
Ha!a post that is a reflection of our lives, succumbing to our own lifestyles.
Even if I could draw a parallel within our lives, I would be inclined to trade mine to be in ur shoes...For all the people would vouch for the fact that you are a good guy...
man, the movies aren't you or me, just a reflection of time passing by. No one thought/ idea can take over our lives full fledged way. We trap ourselves in the pitfalls of being puritans...
I don't if this is an explanation I am giving you or myself...but ur post did bother me...
do think abt it..
@neo: Hmm...Felt like writing something. This was a result. I dont have the capacity to judge whether its right, wrong, good or bad. It just is.
@freakie: Thanks for the thought. And the vote of confidence. As I said to neo. I wanted to write and this is what came out.
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