Saturday, October 25, 2008

System.RESET

System.Reset (An awfully long and typical neo post with no sense or purpose)

Re-starting blogging is not going to be easy. 2 years after bidding Adieu to programming, the best title I could come up with was "System.Reset".

After thinking, re-thinking, analyzing, re-analyzing, calculating, re-prioritizing, there still are no answers. Probably, the escapist way to define it would be 'Its the journey that defines life, not the destination'.

There have been quite a few revelations. I think I have completed a revolution, and am back to square 1. Every time that I felt that I was getting overly attached with a place, I ran away from there. Unlike Alexander, who became sad that there are no more worlds to conquer, I became sad knowing that there are no more places to run away. And then, I decided to stop, turn around and fight. Stupid. Period.

Fight with yourself, and you can fight anyone. ~ FIGHT CLUB.
After fighting for a while, I realized, why fight ? why persist ? why not give up ? ~ AGENT SMITH
Well, failure turned out to be too yummy. Like caffeine, there was a high rise - Hell yeah! and then a sudden crash, like being blown away from the edge of a cliff.

A quick re-union with classmates turned out to be very interesting. While we all pretend to be confused, unsure about the next step, there is something taking us forward. Whats it called ? TIME ? MONEY ? Dear old Ram was the only one I could relate to. While I selfishly and meekly blabbered about my choices and what lies ahead, Ram's thoughts were about travel, photography, poverty, women rights and so forth. That could be why he is at peace :)

While all the self-development/destructive blogs preach the same thing ~ Dont do the obvious job, take an untreaded path, believe in yourself, all woes can be probably summarized as priyan's cataclysmic conclusion - Get out of the room! Get un-plugged from the internet!

'The greatest of sins are committed, when we feel we are beyond questioning'. There could be nothing more tortorous than that statement. I have tried drowning in code, keeping myself busy, keeping myself free, being totally jobless, doing a couple of freelance projects, and so on. The Tax payer / NRI identity crisis continues.

A rather stupid dream. An Internet Cafe (4 comps), DTP, Web designing, Software Development and Training, Computer Repair / Servicing / Sales. No matter how busy, have dinner with family! What's stopping me from doing it ? My B.Tech degree :) My ex-GULF shadow, That look in their eyes, customs and festivities plagued society, and most importantly 1 USD = 50 Rupees (Holy shit!)

I could brag on and on, crib endlessly, but in the end, it feels like looking at a 5 year younger me in the mirror. And I am not that young anymore. Bua ha ha.

Hopefully, tomorrow morning, everything will be clear. Its raining here, and is refreshingly dark! Clubbed to that is the frequent power-cut, and disrupted communication lines. yeeha!

PS: Spelling and grammar was entirely Blogger's responsibility to correct.
This post violates my new year resolution. Bua ha ha ha.

2 comments:

ram said...

The greatest of sins are committed, when we feel we are beyond questioning, that is scary

neo said...

you picked the needle from the haystack....