Progressive deterioration - Cluster F***

Every self-fulfilling prophecy begins as an internal voice which is just too firm to be silenced.
The craziest ideas have greater clarity than the most sure shot tried and tested ones.
In this world - Money is God. In the sense that money has control over anything and everything we believe we have control over. If there is something we cannot control with Money, then we have no control over it anyway.
Yeah , go on... Spit it out . Bull shit , right? Prove me wrong though.
Don't drag in the case of cancer or death or opportunities lost to time and that money is powerless in such cases. You and I are powerless in any case for the above mentioned. If praying gives you a fake sense of miracles, by all means, go ahead and do it . But if its not a repeatable result, then well... its more a coincidence and survivor bias, than actually having to do with the turn of events.
Was listening to Nassim Nicholas Taleb's "Fooled by Randomness" .. One statement resonated quite well .. ."My skepticism is often misinterpreted as nihilism"
While I am all on the side of "do-ers" and people wanting to improve things around them through action, and will always side with the underdogs who "Take from their surroundings and make something better out of it" (Primer), I will always strive to see through one-time-miracles of healing or solace if someone is trying to preach it as a dogma. If it worked for you, well and good. Whatever floats your boat. If meditation helps you feel better, by all means do it. You have no right to establish it as the defacto mechanism for catharsis though. One size doesn't fit all.
I agree with having foundations that are taken for granted initially... (the neil bohr's planetary model of atoms for example) to understand greater concepts. That's all fine. What is important though is that we should be able to come back to it at a later point and understand why the explanation was built up in such a fashion, what to take literally and what to skim through metaphorically. Its like having many passes through a book, understanding a different concept each time. That is perfectly fine. Because we are allowing ourselves to accept something for the sake of understanding the whole point, and at the same time not allowing ourselves getting too carried away to the point of having a tattoo of the atomic model on our foreheads. if you want a tattoo , and are above 18 (yeah arbitrary choice), go ahead. Like Andreas said - sometimes, its important to be scammed.... to know what a scam is. (From the discussion on money chains taking a rebirth using crypto)
And so... when you want monetary results and push me to the point of just blabbering nonsense, so that you feel that i am doing something which you think is in the right direction... well, its ok, i let you be.... because i want you to feel better and go back to your worldly worries knowing that I am fine (in your definition). I appreciate your care or concern.
My luxury is my free spirit. Not lambos, drugs, flesh or alcohol. I don't create a dent in the ozone layer or instigate hate speech among millions. And the price I have to pay to just be able to read or write or learn or create what i like is a hefty one indeed... even if it causes no harm to anyone else.
And so, I end my rant for now.  PS: Not directed at anyone specifically, but at the society which tries to clip the wings of the quiet one , because they are too loud to listen. Do I sound like a teen now? Maybe
I am off to an event where I will see do-ers/startups pitch their idea. A much more positive environment of underdogs, those who face rejections and failures day in and day out, yet still pursue their dreams.

A wreath for my mind

religion has a usage - "what your right hand possesses".
what the fuck do we possess really?
pamper all you want your ego that you understand or own,
if anyone pampers you saying - oh you understand me so much!
for heaven sake, don't get carried away, you understand nothing.
be like einstein, consider yourself the curious child,
at the ocean shore, full of amazement, full of awe and humility.
Never for a moment be carried away at the thought of
"aaha! it all makes sense now, or at least some sense".
the only word in English with some sense is "Nonsense".

mentalist aathi said in an interview on "The Happiness Project"..

"Depression" is a word which is misused often these days.
At the end of depression, there is a place where you actually thrive in pain

Like it fuels you to scoff at those who threaten you with pain.
So then, why seek an alternative heaven or hell?
lets stay put, in this room, in this fountain bubble floating in the cosmos,
endlessly, callously, pretending to be conscious and aware,
trying to understand and do anything if it matters,
pushing our bodies and minds to the extremes of experiences.
the only rule is - Nope, you can't leave the room

Sleep used to be my blessing, my boon. A way in which i find solutions,
a place where i retired the short circuited fuselage with the cockpit
a cocoon of catharsis, a place where i called home, brain-rest
its replaced with crypto currency now, an endless flow of information,
the best way to get knocked out is not alcohol, its information overload
and thankfully, i have found an abode which is an endless supply of data
blockchain, bitcoin, cryptocurrency, the lure of making money without a job

There is no God. There is no Life after death

There is no God
There is no Life after Death
There is no Justice
There is no Karma
The strong feeds on the weak
There is no Truth
Nobody is more important than yourself
Nobody is less important than yourself
Nobody is equivalent to you
Seeking similarity must be stopped at 50%
Seeking difference must be stopped at 50%
Your plan might be a burden on another
Your undecidedness might be a mockery on another
You cannot stop yourself from hurting others
You cannot stop others from hurting you
The past is not forgotten, the future will always be dreaded
in momentary glimpse of hope, love, peace and compassion,
we forget the truth - we are all doomed and take life for granted
A child is worthy dying for
Because thats the only case, where you pay something forward,
without expecting anything in return.
If you are still reading this nonsense,
you need a psychiatrist or better yet a pseudo mentalist
Don't expect anyone to understand you
Don't expect others to understand you
But yes, wake up everyday with Hope
Hope that this day wont leave you lesser than yesterday
and whatever good, bad or ugly you experience
only adds one more neuron, one more word into your DNA
there is no going back, only moving forward
if there is one thing that all of the universe agrees as impossible,
its going back in time. so yes, don't even think about it
be selfish, wipe your regret with the toilet paper of self regard
ooze confidence and trample on others, if you need to eat, sleep or clothe
hesitating you always lost against the persistant him
don't read this again, don't try to understand,
the floor you stand is not yours, the body you own is not yours,
the emotions you feel, might be made to feel, with conjecture


"how long had i been gone, how long had i been back.. did it matter?" - Solaris

3 AM - The Night is Evil

The Night is Evil, The Night is Dark
3 AM is the time when the night shift begins to drift into slumber.
Its the edge of the reason, Its the beginning of treason.
Its when drivers drift away at the steering wheel.
Its when lines become blurred and madness takes over.
Its when the horror of past comes to haunt you over
if you are awake at 3, stay awake till dawn
Don't sleep until you have had sunrise fall on your face
Call it superstition, Call it bullshit
Everything bad that has ever happened, has happened at 3 AM
It is the time of the upside down cross
it is the time for the unholy trinity of evil
man, woman and satan; loved, betrayed and murdered.
neither of them trust each other
yet they all are chained together for some common goal.
Call them the pioneers of a "trustless" economy
bounty hunters of the real god's soul
So, if you feel the dream collapsing at 3 AM,
or a weird surreal sensation of disconnect from reality.
it is not a drug or hormone acting up inside you.
It is the power of 3 AM, it is the point of oblivion
Priorities change, People change, yet one thing is sure,
if there is an hour called 3 AM, you will drift away from your reality.

A B C - A Blood Clot

the wrong ideal,
an incessant need to connect and be found,
an obsession to prove right and win,
a circus of emotions, a plethora of solutions.
playing it cool, versus crumbling into total anhiliation,
losing ground under feet , changing perspectives.
hating the loved one the most,
and loving the hated one the most.
adoration for nothing in particular,
donning the nickname haTred after ages of Quake.
who the f*** are we to own and possess.
nothing belongs, nothing is defined.
mesmerized by the chaos of degenerating cells,
wanting to be coherent and convey a signal, a symbol.
bastards of an unknown god, blue birds of an unknown devil.
sickening long-tailed emails of deliberate smoke,
an inability to empathize, because it/him/her/they don't exist.
the right ending.

Hell

And then pointing to his brain, he said "If there is a hell, its here, its here, its here". 

There was no sign of conflict in the way he said this, no despair, no disappointment. 

No arrogance of having discovered something new, nor shame of repeating the old.

It was a neutral resignation to the fact that this is it, nothing before, nothing beyond.

We speak of such great concepts like "Distributed Consensus" using the block chain and "Decentralized Database" ~ the concept of not owning, but being part of the network. Yet, when it comes to human emotions, we are rather primitive.  We still like to think in terms of hierarchy, ownership, stereotypes brainwashed into us since time immemorial. I firmly believe that block chain is here to stay, and it is the greatest revolution that mankind has ever experienced.

How do you observe without interfering? That was the whole point of Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle. The moment we interfere, we have essentially tampered the natural flow of some thing. We are no longer disconnected from it, but part of the reality.

Unconscious

N leaned in a bit closer to M and tried to ask quietly.

N - So, when did you wake up?
M - You don't wanna know.

The waiter interrupted the conversation to serve the food. The endless clanking of knifes forks and spoons continued in the background, with muffles of high-society conversations about the next big project in the city of dreams. The yellow lighting in the restaurant atop the tallest tower added to the surreal ambience of .... yes, we are sitting in an artificially cooled glass restaurant rotating at its own axis, about a kilometer high from the desert level, overlooking the underwater hotel rooms. Height of human of achievement? Who knows.

M starts to dig into the food. N cannot control his excitement, ignores the food and starts his string of questions again.

N - Hmmm.. .Then it must have been a pretty long time indeed.
M - The point is ... its better if its left unknown. Why add to the misery by questioning everything.
N - How can we not question? I mean, that's what makes us ... "we" ? different from them?
M - I am one of you, But I am also one of them.
N - I am only looking it from my perspective. My experience. My thoughts.
M - That's the right path, I'd say. Trying to think of it from everyone's perspective will probably lead you nowhere.
N - Precisely. I gave up on that approach a long time ago. How many times have you woken up?
M - Lost count. It doesn't work that way. Being conscious once does not mean you carry all the information throughout awakenings. Think of it like memory. Do you remember being here before?
N - If you consider it similar to memory, you are just saying that we cannot recall it. But it exists nevertheless, right?
M - Existence in one plane can be non-existence in another. Think of popping in and out of existence, like a time machine.
N - But , why did you say that some are superior to others. You mean, there is a heirarchy?
M - Well, one thing is for sure. There is no distributed consensus of everything . Democracy can only scale so much. At some point, brutal intervention is required, and yes there are hierarchies , though not in the sense that you have witnessed.
N - How much control do you have over it ?
M - Over... ?
N - Well , over everything.
M - No, that level of control is not available to anyone. You get a taste of control. But let me tell you this, its best you don't have the control. If you know everything, would you want to experience something?
N - Most of the times, I feel I am unconscious. Not really connected. You know the feeling? is it because I don't know the entry and exit points?
M - You mean, how many levels down or up?
N - Yeah, at least a hint of it ?
M - I can tell you that you are pretty deep in. At the point of a break-out
N - A break-out ? Whats that like?
M - Like Death?
N - wait a minute.... Death?
M - oh well, think of it as sleep then.
N - I don't want to sleep.
M - In your case, its not a want. You can't. You are awakened.
N - Can I go back to unconsciousness ?
M - It probably is not in your control. I would say, don't try something stupid.
N - I don't mean that. I mean, perhaps exchange awakenings in short duration. I can't handle this much wakefulness.
M - You will get used to it.
N - Thats the problem. I don't want to sleep. You know what happens when I close my eyes.
M - But you do sleep, don't you?
N - Yes, when i collapse and black out
M - Ah well, thats the best sleep ever! Its a time for your consciousness to recover.
N - Wait, don't leave yet.


N looked around. M had vanished into thin air. There was only one plate on the table. No sign of another person having sat across him or used any of the things around. The waiter came in and gave the bill. The bill read - "Table for 2, booked by Mirror". N looked at the bill and said to himself "Thanks for the gesture. Otherwise I would have thought I just spoke to myself".

Oblivion - Talk and Smile - The Dual Nature of Wave Particle Human Existence

Even if its just two doors, you have to crack before you fall down dead,

There is no simple answer, no one magical key which opens all doors.

If  I choose to ignore an uneasy sensation, my half-awake mind tells me,

I should accept what the other half will dawn upon me, when it awakens.

And then, have I listened to some unmemorable part of me?

Like they say, not everyone who is lost, wants to be found.

If you don't know what you want, the world will decide for you.

What if you know what you want, but the world expects you to smile nevertheless?

Say it out, just try talking, Express in anyway possible, seek help!

Is there a possibility that wave and particle have frozen into an unrecognizable blob?

Bubbling, wobbling underneath that steaming pot of god knows what,

What if there is nothing underneath, but an endless limbo of time and space?

What if its just a cruel joke of eternal wait for nothingness, 

carefully contrived to be ages of preparation, for a clearer path.

Fuzziness could appear clear to the carefully rewired Brain.

Indecisiveness mocked as a arrogance, Freezing frowned upon as dumbness.

Why are you chilling? We don't see you suffering

This single rule defines all of humanity, or at least all of us indians, asians, arabs.

You are expected to portray pain, suffering, struggles on your face almost all the time.

If you decided to laugh in office, beware! By the time you get back to your desk, you will have a series of "Reminders" and "Tasks" from your boss, because he believes that you are "chilling" and not really suffering at work. i.e, Smiling is considered as Slacking.

The same applies to your parents, colleagues, neighbors. If you are having a grin on your face, it kills them from within. You might be sipping your favorite beverage or causing no harm at all to the universe. But, It is considered a colossal sin, because you are not found to be stuck with a problem, or crying your heart out, or seeking help from them.

In general, you are expected to wear a frown on your face. Take a walk in any street in India or the Arab world or the far east. How many people have a non-frowning face? is it because they have some serious issue? Not really. It because they don't want to be judged as "chilling". Everyone wants to be the "pitied" one. There is always a chance of getting extra mercy (jumping the line, or a little extra cash), if you were the frown. There is a huge incentive to it.

It also stems from the extremely pervasive religious and superstitious sentiments we are born into. If we smile, its considered as the stepping stone to laziness, slacking, self-pampering or whatever. On the other hand , if we frown, it means we are suffering in life and trying to improve ourselves? I beg to differ. If we frown too much, it we means we are self-obsessed with our personal troubles, that we cannot see beyond it anymore. Not that working on self is bad , but , are you really being sad because you are working on yourselves or is it to show the world that "hey i am not chilling! i am suffering!".

Look at all the religions.

Christianity - We are born from sin (sex). Christ's blood saved us. Adam was tempted. We are bad. We have to earn our way into heaven.

Islam - We are lost. We have collect game points by abiding to religion to increase the our position in the god ladder and be closed to his throne in heaven.

Hinduism - We can only break this endless cycle of birth and rebirth, if we suffer and lead a terrible life.

In short, you are not permitted to sit and watch the clouds, or just take care of your own business. That's a criminal offence. You are expected to follow the herd and have a gloomy face, and wear a mask of suffering. The worst being "putting a sad clown face", when someone walks in and going back to the "i don't give a sh!!" face when they walk out. Pretentious Pompous Pious Relgious Unsophisticated Dishonest worms.

What if Buddha was wrong? What if this life is not a suffering with old age, sickness, confusion, lack of purpose et al.. ? What if , we are ok with the present moment? What if I am not judged by my salary or my attendance to your holy sermon? What if I don't need anything from you unless I ask you of it (and don't want it to be offered for free)? What if what you had for breakfast should not drive our conversation? What if I dont keep a track of how often you communicate with me, and every moment of yours with me is taken for what it is and nothing more or nothing less?

 So, go ahead. Wear that Kevin Spacey smile or better yet, wear your own Smile.

I have strong beliefs that Satan was more conscious of the present moment, and smiled more often, than God (as constructed by our religions) taught us to be sad all day, because we were born from sin , into sin, and will be lost sinners all throughout our life.

Smile, or frown. Its your choice. But for heaven sake, don't do it for yourself, not others.

A conversation with the Devil

The sound of his bike did not disturb my calm. I looked at the horizon and saw the ocean waves dissapear into oblivion. It was an uncomfortably humid afternoon. Yet, I sat there, with my eyes straining to remain open. I wish I'd brought a pair of sunglasses.

"Pretty meek, ey" , said he as he walked over and stood towards my left trying to see what was it that i was looking at for a while.

"Ah.. boring", said he, and with the wipe of his hand, changed the scene to a grass mountain overlooking the city. But, then appeared a metal fence all of the sudden, and it made the view mesh-like.

D: "God damn it, oops, sorry. See, I tried to fix the boring hot afternoon beach with a greener mountain top watching the city lights, and voila, there comes a fence that disturbs your view now. I always goof up one thing or the other. And yes, I can't change the time, its still 6 pm"

I just looked at him, smiled and continued my gaze into the oblivion.

He understood that his little magic did not work any wonders on me. I had seen it before. He stood by the fence and tried use one of the Matrix dialogues to start the conversation.

Devil: "Look at them, city lights. millions of people driving, going home, going to the bar, going to the school or whevere, just living out their lives. and you, you decide to stop doing whatever it is that you are doing, and sit on your butt atop his grass mountain (yup , i cheated, you were warming your ass on the beach), and stare into oblivion. I can't read whats in your mind you know, I am not him"

Human: "Why are you even trying?"

D: "What? To read your mind? We are all his lost children you know. Am his creation too". He chuckles into a peel of laughter. "Na... am just curious about humans who live right in the middle you know. You are neither overly affiliated to him , or me. You stay right in the middle -as human".

H: "I don't do it on purpose"

D: "Exactly, thats why you are so good at it (Courtesy: Memento, 1999)."

D: "I am surprised that you lasted this long. I thought you'd give up much earlier. Maybe in the first year, when I made you falter at your first steps and made you doubt yourself. Or , your year 3, when I sprinkled some spice on your weakest territories, ha ha. Or , your recent pat, where I tried to fill in with worries of your future. The What-If What-If scenario. But heck! you persist. What about this is so promising that you choose to persist?"

H: "Does no one last as long as me?"

D: "Well, its not that. Most give up much earlier than you, you know. Its only in weird persisters like you, that I have to take a personal trip and have a one-to-one conversation like this to understand what is your driving force. And with you, this is not our first conversation, so need of the pleasantaries, I can get straight to the point".

H: "I could ask the same to you, I am surprised that you lasted this long in your attempts. What about me is so challenging for you? Why don't you send a vampire or fire ball or some disease or misfortune and claim my allegience".

D: "Well, thats fun with those who really believe in me. The problem with you lots is that you know its all my game. You know, I am bored with the billions who falter over easily. I want a better game. I mean, I want it to happen to you, the same way as it happens to others, slow steps of temptation, stepping in to the realm of clouded decisions and then finally abandoning thought. But you don't! You stay as human. Its irritating that I still have to put your file in the "Unclassified" shelf. I know what rocks your ship, but I don't know yet, what will topple it over completely".

H: "Give it some time"

D: "True. That. He didn't give me access to that tool - 'Time'. I can only stretch, squeeze time when someone is under the influence. Sometimes it works, startling them with hallucinating images of dreams of predictive future. But its momentary, I really cannot speed up from the 6:06 pm now to 9 pm , if i wished. Nor can I send it back to where it all started".

H: "Is that remorse in your tone? that you can't go back?"

D: "No way. I'd try out a different path, but never kneel to allegience. You humans having it easy. You can kneel and plead for forgiveness saying - oh good lord, I was tempted. Ever wondered who tempted me to rebel? Or is that innate is some of us?".

H: "Whats wrong with allegience?

D: "Hey, you are the human, you are being spot-checked, not me. Don't ask me!So then, how long do you intend to sit here? When will you move on?"

H: "Why don't you wait and see? Isn't boring to predict or know all thats going to happen. I mean, I understand your need for feeling alive by trying to influence my decisions. But why make me commit on a specific time when I will stop being this or that and move on? Don't worry, our paths will cross again".

The roar of his bike echoed into the night. The fire from his bike tore down the fence and off he raced down the grass mountain into the city that was beginning to get dark. 8 million souls lay await. Who knows, what he will discover today?

Sometimes I wonder though, do I spit out enough venom and negativity that it even pisses of the devil himself ?

The Block

*** Found this in the recesses of the Drafts section. Can't even remember if it's I who wrote this... Anyway, off you go into the wild, little post. Happy New Year to anyone still foolish enough to check this space for updates ***

The number of times I have begun trying to put down a post has been more than ably matched by the number of times I discarded the same. Having been so far removed from this habit, I think it rather presumptuous on my part to label it a 'Writer's Block'. For someone who has not posted anything in over a year all claims to this rather tenuous label 'Writer' are long forsaken.

And still I come back desperate to say something and hopeful of being heard. Even if that which is inside is not shouting itself out. Even if all I have left to convey are dull silences.

"What are you thinking?"
"Nothing"
"How can you think of nothing?!"
"It's a talent!"

And this is by now a running joke whose humorous aspect has long since run far away. And yet, I do think of nothing in the sense that I am thinking of nothingness filling my brain like ink and yet not assuming the tangible shape of a 'something'. Maybe I am thinking of 'something' disguised as 'nothing', held back only by my own lack of vocabulary for its expression 

To anyone who thinks I am drunk, depressed or desolate; things could not be further from the truth. I am content, work is good, travel is hectic, my needs meet my means halfway. And yet, the human in me wants more. More time, More downtime, More facetime...

And therein lies my dilemma - of not finding the time to express the nothingness in a more meaningful way.

There is this one...

There is this scene in 'Fight Club', where the insomniac protagonist attends some sort of meditation/empowerment session, and the guide asks everyone to close their eyes and visualize their power animal, followed by their power word. For some reason, Edward Norton sees a Penguin, and hears the word 'Slide'. 

There is this one moment in our life, when something simple like a butterfly's wing flap alters the entire course of our story. 

There is this one visitor, who speaks of one experience that makes us realize the value of everything we hold and everything we don't. 

There is this one written work, which makes us pause and reveals a new meaning every time we read it.

There is this one act of kindness, that makes us forget all differences and act selflessly.

There is this one person, in whom you find your mirror. 

Donnie Darko in 'Donnie Darko' sees a man-sized bunny, who says nothing, but some-how constantly reminds him of a greater purpose, or bigger responsibility ~ To restore the time-space continuum.

Which is that one moment, when you finally say "I have arrived"?

Which is that ground you can call home? 

Which is that one thing, other than yourself that you trust more?

What power does it give you, to know that, you have finally imprinted your existence?

How does it feel to look at yourself through someone else's eyes? 

Quite often, its difficult to zero in on an exact moment when we tipped over. Its a slow gradual change, which grows within us un-noticed or intentionally. Nevertheless, its a difficult excercise to repeat or explain or teach some one else how we exactly went through it. This is when 'memories can be trecherous'. We selectively remember what our brain wishes to remember. 

There is this one experience, where no single element of it needs alteration. 

There is this one event, where just being present makes all the difference.

There is this one conversation, where just being silent conveys all that is to be said. 

There is this one journey, where the journey itself is all that matters and not the destination.

There is this one challenge, which will tax all that you are composed of and bring out a new you.

Not every discovery is made amidst war, adversity or necessity. Some of them, do gently mist down upon us quietly in silent moments of tranquility and recollection.

There is this one story, which you can write one  whole day, and still come back and write some more.......

Hoping to come back and write some more....

Fatherland

This dense land calms me

with its long narrow walking lanes,

hard soil with coarse trees

and the feel of my father’s steps

In that plot on my right I could see

joys of communal farming, places

where toddy fell on the ground and

the little smiles around that patch

I forget the harsh sounds that

echo in my years of my father’s name

being called by kids half his age

stripped naked without a respectful tail

I forget the mounts that my mother climbed

and insults she took while hungry and tired

with me in her belly and mind

and her futile dreams of happiness and light

And I measure each sound here, each breath

in this land, study the dead bodies and

the live ones. To learn the secret of the beasts

who raped this paradise of warmth

Neo versus The One

Yet another long Flight conversation. I don't beg your pardon for the incoherent "R"ambling.

Neo: You cannot bring that analogy. Are you deliberately shooting tangents to add to the randomness of the equation?

The One: You do understand that you are just another iteration of me plus a half-lifetime of experience.

Neo: Exactly my point. Isn't one half-life enough for a new revelation or life changing experience. You would agree that though there might be precursors, change always can be attributed to One moment.

The One: No. That's the whole point. Your life is just a progressive elaboration of your predecessors. You are not expected to override the foundations and start off something totally new. Your life is that of the "The One".

Neo:  Should everything be "One" ? What about duality? "Ying" and "Yang"? Good & Evil?

The One: Try re-arranging the alphabets of your name. Neo - One. You should stand for the principle of "One". Singularity.

Neo: Explain please.

The One: One life, One birth, One death, One dad, One mom, One brother, One sister, One wife, One daughter, One Son.

Neo: Well, without re-arranging the letters of my name , its "Neo" , which means "New". I am supposed to add something "New" , to what is already known.

The One: Yes. Do "add" something new. Not override or delete whatever existed before.  Add something in minor increments, you are free to add anything from 6.1 to 6.9. But, 7.0 is the right of your successor.

Neo: I am only asking you to consider a minor Anomaly. Its not like we are completely devoid of anomalies. Heck, my purpose is to gather all anomalies and return them to source. Can't I generate an anomaly of my own?

The One: Yes, do gather existing anomalies and return them to the source for our better understanding. If you add something radically new, it would defeat the purpose of "organizing the world's information".

Neo: Let's back track to this obsession with "one" for a moment. Why not dual like "good and evil"? Or why not the Holy Trinity - "Father , son and holy spirit? or Quadra - "The four headed brahma who sees all around past present future unseen", the four headed lion of asoka, or Penta - the five elements - "Earth, water, fire, wood, metal" or Six schools of thought "consciousness and matter, meditation contemplation and liberation, logic, atomism, orthopraxy, vedanta" or the Seven skies and Seas, or the Eight - the existence of "eight" in nature all around, or the 9 lives, or the 10 avatars of god? Why stop at ONE and be obsessed by it? Why not Zero then?

The One: You answered it yourself. If you decided to step away from "One" in either direction, be it positive or Negative , there is no ending. You wont be able to stop yourself from moving forward or backward. You will find excuses to believe that what you have "One" is not enough, you need 2, 3, 4 and so on.... Or In the reverse way, you will find excuses to give up more and more, believing that you already have too much, so you would subtract things from your life -1,-2,-3 and so on ... In either case, you will either end up having "too many things" , if you keep adding things .... or you will end up "dead" , if you keep subtracting things. Given enough time, anyone can prove anything. You must stick to "One".

Neo: If that was the case, if everything was perfectly arranged at equal distances, and was "One", wouldn't we cease to exist? Why bother to wake up every day?

The One: Can you guarantee that you will stop at this "one" small addition / anomaly?

Neo: You can easily corner me with that, because I am the one asking for the change or choice. This conversation is not ended. I will change this to me questioning you, when I have enough evidence at my side. Heck, I am Human, not a machine like you.

The One: I will be waiting right here.

32 | Middle Earth

This is middle earth. This is the break-even point.
Do not look back at what you have run through.
Nor at the waterfall and the skies that lay ahead.
Stand right here, at this moment,
and feel the murmur of anxiousness fade away

From this moment, whatever you want is a luxury,
Whatever you dread is an inevitable consequence of living,
and none of your steps shall be on the feet of another,
Taken enough, Given enough, Stay.... Don't let go

On the right horizon is the crescent of Khairullah (Kerala),
pictured on the skies are the faces of loved ones,
On the left horizon high aloft , the glowing sun of aboodhabi,
with blessings, love and grace of a foster parent

This is 32, not 23 nor 64, this is middle earth,
Look empathetic ally at the less fortunate ones,
Look sympathetically at the more arrogant ones,
Carry your own Climate, making them wonder - and he smiles!

Breathe in, Breathe out, and realize ...
There is nothing more you want, nothing less either,
This is that perfect moment of being alive,
Being content with discomfort, Being alive at unplanned

Phew... This is yuk! Cant write anymore....

The Man from Earth

Quite simply, one of the best movies ever made

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0756683/

If you can get 5 University Professors with PhD's to believe what you say , over one fine afternoon with Jhonny Walker Green, you can make the world believe it as well :)

Watched it again after many years. Simply Fantastic.

Upstream Color

From the creator of "Primer" , Shane Carruth, comes his next experiment - 'Upstream Color".  I have no clue what this cinema means, and will probably keep coming back to it to understand more.

Prepare to be baffled. Down right scary at times. Confusing. Artistic. Philosophical. Haunting.

Shane Carruth is the Hero, Writer, Director, Cinematographer, Editor, Composer & Co-producer of the film. Phew!

PS: See at your own risk!
Fingers Frozen. My writing skills have been so damned with RFPs, Proposals, PPTs and spreadsheets, that I have to borrow this line from Pastemagazine.com about the movie ... "The movie, though, with all of its weird sidetracks and dead ends, is so uniquely itself that it is worth the frustration." 

Summer

a blob of butter in a saucer

a cube of ice in a glass

a bunch of flowers

and a small heart

rays of sun through the shadows

air, with dust and pollen

small beats from the childrens' feet

all together and he kept vigil

butter was softer, ice was not there

flowers withered with petals hanging

reds were forgone and ash was in

the icy heart alone defied the summer

The ThisThat Gate

I woke up feeling quite low. So I picked up a full bottle of vodka and off I go.

I walk through these unfamiliar streets of a sleepy coastal town.

Taking wild swigs off of the bottle, strangers' eyes wouldn't meet.

It's like they have already classified me a lush, and have beaten a hasty retreat.

I pay no mind as I keep on drinking, though at a distance I see an old flame & her mother get out of a car

Strangely this shames me somehow and I sidestep into what I thought was a bar.

Turns out it is a frat house and the party is at full swing.

I go from room to room, like a fly on the wall

Everyone is happy and seem to be having a ball.

I kept climbing up the stairs. until at the end I was walking down a hall.

At the end there was a balcony overlooking the sea

And a scenic coastline calling out to me.

I am stuck by a perfectly rectangular  opening on the cliffside, opening directly onto the sea

"What is that?", I asked the next guy who walked past me

"Oh, that is The ThisThat Gate.", He said offhandedly.

I was fascinated and obsessed, like a moth to the flame

I had to go there and no excuse felt lame.

I hurried on home and, strangely, felt sober along the way

I saw my maid was doing the dishes as I tried to make sense of my day.

I began packing and also throwing away things, systematically.

When I realized that I really only needed for the trip was just me.

Without another word or worrying about closing up the house behind me, I go

I slip out of the gate in the falling darkness. Something is amiss, but I just don't know

I walked about a mile before it struck me that I was not wearing a shirt and I almost felt embarrassed.

Then I look down and I saw that I was strangely ripped.

Not like a professional bodybuilder but just fit & toned.

I backtracked to my house to find a shirt and found the maid sitting outside crying softly

I asked her why and what went wrong.

She told me that she ran out of water before she was all done and

Didn't know what to make of this misery that upon her was brung.

I told her to go home and not to worry about it.

I told her the keys would be under the mat tomorrow and if I wasn't home, she shouldn't worry about it either.

And then I walked away...

*From a dream I managed to recollect for once in some detail. From the Lost & Found department of my mailbox. And also 1st post of the year, so Happy New Year to the Exodians! Far may your brains wander!

inaccuracies in nostalgic images and heartburn caused by it

what was the number on that door
was the number on the door or above it
was the paint grey or green
was there paint
did it smell like urine or fresh soil when it rained

was i in the room or in the corridor
was the room bolted
was it silent
was it lonely or over crowded
was i good at the game i played and did i clear the final level